Author: Dawn Davis, LMFT. Book with Dawn Here
This month has been a heavy one in the celebrity world, and has shown up in interesting ways in
my therapy world and personal world. This week, I had a client freeze mid-sentence and become
immediately saddened when a notification popped up on her phone saying that Dolly Parton
passed away. The next day, I experienced an unexpected emotional gut-punch in the middle of
my day when I learned that legendary actor, Tim Curry, passed away. These experiences were a
reminder to me of the importance of understanding parasocial grief as therapists.
In order to understand parasocial grief, we need to understand parasocial relationships:
Social relationships are relationships that are perceived to have personal meaning, and
between individuals who personally know and interact with each other. This includes family
members, friends, coworkers, acquaintances, and romantic partners.
Parasocial relationships are interactions between a media user and a media character, and
are one-sided, non-reciprocal, and lack mutuality. This includes celebrities, fictional TV
show/movie characters, famous musicians, athletes, newscasters, political figures, historical
figures, and politicians.
Parasocial relationships and social relationships share significant similarities. For both, perceived
similarity, physical attractiveness, and mental attractiveness are main decisive factors in forming
relationships. For both relationships, gratification of sociopsychological needs are met, such as
alleviating tension, decision making, and feeling connected throughout experiences of loneliness.
In addition, falling in love with a celebrity provides similar life satisfaction, self-reflection,
improved mood, and sexual gratification as falling in love with someone personally.
Parasocial grief describes experiences of depressive symptoms in response to deaths of
parasocial figures. In recent studies, fans of Robin Williams, Michael Jackson, Alan Rickman,
David Bowie, Chadwick Boseman, Carrie Fisher, Chester Bennington, and Carrie Fisher were
interviewed about their experiences in response to their deaths. For all celebrities, there were
shared themes of feeling “shattered,” “devastated,” immediately crying, and hopelessness
around getting over their deaths. Fans also reported difficulty functioning, including leaving
work or school early, appetite changes, laying in bed all day, and pulling over to cry while
driving. Disruption of identity and shock were also reported, such as a Star Wars fan describing
Carrie Fisher’s death as “it hurt a piece of my childhood,” and a Steve Irwin fan expressing
“men like him were supposed to be invincible…instead he’s dead? It doesn’t make sense.” Many
fans also described these celebrities and their losses as impactful or more impactful than their
friends and family members.
Grieving fans also experience the unique impact of grief policing. Grief policing is defined as
“norm enforcement practices around grief,” which judges, invalidates, and criticizes who, what,
in what way, and how long someone grieves. Grief policing often exists as shame and ridicule of
parasocial grief in public online settings. For example, in response to a grieving fan received a
comment to “stop with the ‘boo boo’ and move onto something that matters” on a post honoring
Alan Rickman. Grieving fans have also been accused of seeking self-promotion, attention, or
“making it about politics” instead of posting out of true grief. As a result, fans silently and
privately suffer, and may not consider discussing their grief in therapy.
As therapists, we can provide a space for our clients to acknowledge their parasocial grief as real,
important and meaningful through exploring it with the same curiosities, validation, and
interventions we would use to approach any other grief experience they may navigate.
References:
- Gach, K. Z., Fiesler, C., & Brubaker, J. R. (2017). “Control your emotions,
Potter”. Proceedings of the ACM on Human-Computer Interaction, 1(CSCW), 1-
18. https://doi.org/10.1145/3134682 - Gronholm, P. C., & Thornicroft, G. (2022). Impact of celebrity disclosure on mental
health-related stigma. Epidemiology and Psychiatric
Sciences, 31. https://doi.org/10.1017/s2045796022000488 - Longo, J. (2025, March 11). 15 heartbreaking celebrity deaths that shocked the world,
and people are still mourning. Yahoo
Entertainment. https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/15-heartbreaking-celebrity-
deaths-shocked-144401498.html - Myrick, J. G., Willoughby, J. F., & Clark, M. D. (2022). Racial differences in response to
Chadwick Boseman’s colorectal cancer death: Media use as a coping tool for
Parasocial grief. OMEGA – Journal of Death and
Dying. https://doi.org/10.1177/00302228221139345 - Rosen, A. (2020, January 10). Grieving the death of a celebrity. The Center for Treatment
of Anxiety and Mood Disorders.
https://www.centerforanxietydisorders.com/2019/01/10/grieving-death-celebrity/ - Rubin, K. H., & McDonald, K. L. (2018). Social Relationships. Research Gate. DOI:
10.4135/9781506307633.n7721
- Pirkis, J., Currier, D., Too, L. S., Bryant, M., Bartlett, S., Sinyor, M., & Spittal, M. J.
(2020). Calls to helplines in Australia following media reports of Robin Williams’
suicide. Suicide and Life-Threatening Behavior, 50(6), 1115-
1120. https://doi.org/10.1111/sltb.12661 - Stein, J., Liebers, N., & Faiss, M. (2022). Feeling Better…But also less lonely? An
experimental comparison of how Parasocial and social relationships affect people’s well-
being. Mass Communication and Society, 27(3), 576-
598. https://doi.org/10.1080/15205436.2022.2127369 - Sutherland, Alexandria P., “Star wars, parasocial relationships and breakups, and the
force…of fandom. “Master’s Thesis, University of Tennessee,
2020.https://trace.tennessee.edu/utk_gradthes/6342
- Van den Bulck, H., & Larsson, A. O. (2017). ‘There’s a Starman waiting in the sky’:
Mourning David #Bowie on Twitter. Convergence: The International Journal of
Research into New Media Technologies, 25(2), 307-
323. https://doi.org/10.1177/1354856517709670 - Why celebrity deaths hit us so hard. (2024, November 6). Ohio State Health & Discovery
Health, wellness and innovation news. https://health.osu.edu/health/mental-
health/coping-with-celebrity-deaths
- Wong, D. T., & Patlamazoglou, L. (2020). Bereavement and coping following the death
of a personally significant popular musician. Death Studies, 46(5), 1234-
1242. https://doi.org/10.1080/07481187.2020.1809031
- Gach, K. Z., Fiesler, C., & Brubaker, J. R. (2017). “Control your emotions,
Potter”. Proceedings of the ACM on Human-Computer Interaction, 1(CSCW), 1-
18. https://doi.org/10.1145/3134682 - Gronholm, P. C., & Thornicroft, G. (2022). Impact of celebrity disclosure on mental
health-related stigma. Epidemiology and Psychiatric
Sciences, 31. https://doi.org/10.1017/s2045796022000488 - Longo, J. (2025, March 11). 15 heartbreaking celebrity deaths that shocked the world,
and people are still mourning. Yahoo
Entertainment. https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/15-heartbreaking-celebrity-
deaths-shocked-144401498.html - Myrick, J. G., Willoughby, J. F., & Clark, M. D. (2022). Racial differences in response to
Chadwick Boseman’s colorectal cancer death: Media use as a coping tool for
Parasocial grief. OMEGA – Journal of Death and
Dying. https://doi.org/10.1177/00302228221139345 - Rosen, A. (2020, January 10). Grieving the death of a celebrity. The Center for Treatment
of Anxiety and Mood Disorders.
https://www.centerforanxietydisorders.com/2019/01/10/grieving-death-celebrity/ - Rubin, K. H., & McDonald, K. L. (2018). Social Relationships. Research Gate. DOI:
10.4135/9781506307633.n7721
- Pirkis, J., Currier, D., Too, L. S., Bryant, M., Bartlett, S., Sinyor, M., & Spittal, M. J.
(2020). Calls to helplines in Australia following media reports of Robin Williams’
suicide. Suicide and Life-Threatening Behavior, 50(6), 1115-
1120. https://doi.org/10.1111/sltb.12661 - Stein, J., Liebers, N., & Faiss, M. (2022). Feeling Better…But also less lonely? An
experimental comparison of how Parasocial and social relationships affect people’s well-
being. Mass Communication and Society, 27(3), 576-
598. https://doi.org/10.1080/15205436.2022.2127369 - Sutherland, Alexandria P., “Star wars, parasocial relationships and breakups, and the
force…of fandom. “Master’s Thesis, University of Tennessee,
2020.https://trace.tennessee.edu/utk_gradthes/6342
- Van den Bulck, H., & Larsson, A. O. (2017). ‘There’s a Starman waiting in the sky’:
Mourning David #Bowie on Twitter. Convergence: The International Journal of
Research into New Media Technologies, 25(2), 307-
323. https://doi.org/10.1177/1354856517709670 - Why celebrity deaths hit us so hard. (2024, November 6). Ohio State Health & Discovery
Health, wellness and innovation news. https://health.osu.edu/health/mental-
health/coping-with-celebrity-deaths
- Wong, D. T., & Patlamazoglou, L. (2020). Bereavement and coping following the death
of a personally significant popular musician. Death Studies, 46(5), 1234-
1242. https://doi.org/10.1080/07481187.2020.1809031
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